Hey Mommy! Today would have been your 77th birthday. It’s been 3,864 days since I last held you in my arms. That many days since you took your last breath on this side. Although you've gone on to better things my need and love for you has not diminished. Yet I’ve grown somewhat comfortable with our new way of communicating.
Things have changed. Your sons are strong and aging beautifully. They are family men of whom you’d be proud. Your daughters-in-law are still lovely, kind and the best mothers. Your grand babies are beautiful, talented, healthy, strong and prosperous. Your great grands are smart, funny, gorgeous and multiplying. You, Daddy, and Aunt Daisy would have such a good time with the little ones. They fill the space with their happiness.
Ma, the world is a sort of crazy place right now. You and Daddy wouldn’t recognize the way we live. Our faces are covered and our contact with others is guardedly limited. There’s a murderous pandemic raging and it’s been greedily snatching lives. We mostly communicate like the Jetsons (remember my fascination with them?😊). The political climate is toxic and scary.The world continues to be fascinated, terrified, mystified and envious of our melanin. And yes it’s still open season on our black bodies. Incredibly, despite all of that, my life is beautiful. I’ve done so many of the things I said I would do, Ma. I’ve carried you all inside as I did them. This man I’m joined with has provided all the loving and support I can handle. I wake up every morning next to him, with a smile on my face, joy in my heart, and laughter on my lips. He’s kept all his promises Mommy, and made some new ones besides. We take such good care of each other. I now know what it is to be deeply treasured, equally yoked, and well matched. It’s heady and the loving is easy.
I often ponder what time and space is like for you all. Whether you move freely or wait peacefully. Whether you carry us with you or have laid those memories down (alongside your heavy burdens). Whether you actively watch over us or walk around heaven (all day). I speculate on these matters sometimes. But what I already know is your love remains ever true because I feel it saturating my bones.
Thank you for loving me so deeply that I still feel it every hour. It sustains me. I miss you Mommy. It likely doesn’t matter to you there, but Happy Birthday from here, this side of heaven.
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